so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize