yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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