I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
