are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
