Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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