It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
