Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
