He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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