I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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