i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
they're like a gay fantastic four
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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