My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
