I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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