u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize