At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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