we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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