she was so not down for the gang bang
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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