Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
is that a dick in a sweater?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
