if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
