My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
