so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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