hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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