haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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