Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
