Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
