Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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