Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
