I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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