dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
