I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
