I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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