I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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