we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
