just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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