Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
