We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
you win again, gameday.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
