So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
