are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish my penis had an off switch
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
