Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
