I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
