I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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