I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
