it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
