People with herpes should wear stickers.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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