Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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