now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My vagina just clenched in fear
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
