If i come over, it means nothing
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
