We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
