The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
