umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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