Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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