Pregnant stripper...not hot.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
