you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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