she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
