How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
