Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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