I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
