Do vagina's smell?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
