i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
