I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
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