They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
