hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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