I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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