I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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