dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
